The Secret Diary of Liam Young

Apologies

fakeliam — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 17:37:54 +0000

There are times in a mans life when he has to apologise. This is one of them.

As I am sure you are aware, the stock market has taken a huge plunge. There have been rumors that the Dow Jones may crash tomorrow.

It is all my fault.

I should have know that by abandoning my company to go on that stupid, stupid reality TV show I would cause the stock market to crash.

I apologise to all I have harmed as a result of my negligent actions. I only hope that you learn to forgive me.

A little background information about OxyUK

fakeliam — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 17:34:19 +0000

OxyUK was started out of the kitchen in McDonalds, Widnes. Liam Young was tired about the quality of web servers that are integrated into microwaves. When Liam was 8, he made his first web server out of a panasonic microwave that he nicked from a local charity shop and a AM radio.

Today, OxyUK has expanded into new markets. We own the church of scientology and we have a scatalogical video department. The most successful video which we have produced is called 2girls1cup. Just google it.

Today, the directors are

-Liam Young

-The 2girls1cup girls

-the goatse man

-Jesus

-Santa

-Joseph Smith

-George W Bush

-Chris Peacock

-L Ron Hubbard

-Xenu

We also are considering placing a bid for a majority share of Exxon Mobil.

Trying to explain to my mum about the cushion

fakeliam — Sun, 20 Jan 2008 13:00:55 +0000

So I came home and my mum was really pissed off about the whole ‘Hi, my name is Liam and I am a sex addict’ thing. Anyway, there was some beatings, some confining to my room. I think at some point my dad came in drunk and started urinating on me.

So I am grounded for the next few weeks. Yay.

New OxyUK Director

fakeliam — Sun, 20 Jan 2008 00:47:48 +0000

I am out of the big brother house

fakeliam — Sun, 20 Jan 2008 00:46:24 +0000

So I was leaving the big brother house. I don’t know how I got kicked out. Perhaps it is a computer error? Hey, Big Brother people! Get OxyUK technologies to sort out your system. We have 2 million customers you know! I bet we could fix your machine so that I don’t get kicked out.

Anyway, as I was leaving, people booed me! How dare they! Little do they know that OxyUK technologies hire 10,000 ninjas. Watch your backs.

You will never guess what happened to me!

fakeliam — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 15:48:22 +0000

Ok, so get this. I was in the big brother house. I had just bought the country of Laos for just under £500, when Sir Alan Sugar burst through the door. He said something about me ‘ripping him off’. Anyway, I hacked into his MSN account and changed his username to

“Lolz0rez! I like gay pr0n”.

Aren’t I mature?

Anyway, I then got given a mensa award and the nobel prize and me, Jesus and Santa Claus popped out the sky and we had cheerios.

Hello, I am Liam Young, bajillionaire

fakeliam — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 14:54:36 +0000

Hi, my name is Liam Young. I am a 19 year old bajillionaire from Widnespool, UK. When not having sex with various household objects, I will be writing about my super-duper life.

Here are some facts about me

- I invented the internet

- I host a bajilion websites on the internet and 12 directors, 3,100,000 employees and I own my own country.

- I have had sex with 15 mammals and 40 amphibians

Thanks for reading!

Liam Young